.......................A quote by Florence Foster Jenkins, a soprano of the forties.
"I am aware that people say I can't sing. But nobody can say that I didn't sing".
Love & Forgiveness
It is truly amazing how we come down on celebrities when they falter.
I guess there is nothing surprising about it because this is the kind of society we have become.
Like none of us has ever faltered in our life.
What have we become?
We have transformed into a very unforgiving and fickle society. The media, television and movies have helped to turn us into a society that is too quick to condemn, too quick to judge, too quick to sentence and too quick to sever ties - be that of love, loyalty or just a fan-club.
When Michael Jackson was accused of child molestation, every radio station I know boycotted his music. There was not one positive thing being said about him at that time. At the time of his death and after, nobody could stop talking about him and how he was the greatest showman on earth, and he really was the greatest showman on earth. But news sells. Sensationalised news sells even more, be it positive or negative.
Now the wrath of humans is on Tiger Woods.
With celebrities, for sure they are role models. But we also revere and respect them for what they do - their sport, their music, their acting or writing. What they do in their personal lives is really their business. As our former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau has, very aptly said “What goes on in people’s bedrooms is nobody’s business but their own”.
Unfortunately, it is not unusual that celebrities will err - too much money, too much power, too much pride. However, it is not up to us to condemn them. It is up to their families to condemn or forgive them but since the media propagates this constant barrage of hate and condemnation, the families are led and influenced towards a negative outcome. What a pity!
It is not the negative that governs who we are and what we do but how we come out of the negative, to learn from it and grow from it. Be it with celebrities or in our daily lives, we are just too quick to pass judgment and condemn rather than learn from the mistakes and make the relationships stronger and the futures brighter.
To err is human and to forgive is divine. How many times have we heard that? We may not be aiming for divinity but there is not one person on this earth that has not erred. We have all erred in our ways many many times.
So then why are so quick to judge and condemn in the case of Tiger Woods?
We need to learn to live our lives knowing that mistakes will be made, that upsets will happen and that there will be negative situations in our lives, while not letting these negative situations govern the outcomes of our lives. Life cannot be measured by the negativities but how we come out of the negative, forgiving the people we love, asking for forgiveness from the people we love and continuing to grow and striving to become better.
Not just for the new year, in the spirit of giving, but for the rest of the year and for the rest of our lives, it is important that we learn to forgive, not ignore, not condemn, not judge, but forgive each other, our spouses, our children, our parents, our neighbors and most of all, ourselves so that we can get on with matters that are more important in life like love, admiration, generosity, kindness, integrity and brotherhood.
I guess there is nothing surprising about it because this is the kind of society we have become.
Like none of us has ever faltered in our life.
What have we become?
We have transformed into a very unforgiving and fickle society. The media, television and movies have helped to turn us into a society that is too quick to condemn, too quick to judge, too quick to sentence and too quick to sever ties - be that of love, loyalty or just a fan-club.
When Michael Jackson was accused of child molestation, every radio station I know boycotted his music. There was not one positive thing being said about him at that time. At the time of his death and after, nobody could stop talking about him and how he was the greatest showman on earth, and he really was the greatest showman on earth. But news sells. Sensationalised news sells even more, be it positive or negative.
Now the wrath of humans is on Tiger Woods.
With celebrities, for sure they are role models. But we also revere and respect them for what they do - their sport, their music, their acting or writing. What they do in their personal lives is really their business. As our former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau has, very aptly said “What goes on in people’s bedrooms is nobody’s business but their own”.
Unfortunately, it is not unusual that celebrities will err - too much money, too much power, too much pride. However, it is not up to us to condemn them. It is up to their families to condemn or forgive them but since the media propagates this constant barrage of hate and condemnation, the families are led and influenced towards a negative outcome. What a pity!
It is not the negative that governs who we are and what we do but how we come out of the negative, to learn from it and grow from it. Be it with celebrities or in our daily lives, we are just too quick to pass judgment and condemn rather than learn from the mistakes and make the relationships stronger and the futures brighter.
To err is human and to forgive is divine. How many times have we heard that? We may not be aiming for divinity but there is not one person on this earth that has not erred. We have all erred in our ways many many times.
So then why are so quick to judge and condemn in the case of Tiger Woods?
We need to learn to live our lives knowing that mistakes will be made, that upsets will happen and that there will be negative situations in our lives, while not letting these negative situations govern the outcomes of our lives. Life cannot be measured by the negativities but how we come out of the negative, forgiving the people we love, asking for forgiveness from the people we love and continuing to grow and striving to become better.
Not just for the new year, in the spirit of giving, but for the rest of the year and for the rest of our lives, it is important that we learn to forgive, not ignore, not condemn, not judge, but forgive each other, our spouses, our children, our parents, our neighbors and most of all, ourselves so that we can get on with matters that are more important in life like love, admiration, generosity, kindness, integrity and brotherhood.
A sample chapter from my upcoming book - 'I Have Good News and Bad News'
When I was younger I had issues with the world. I wanted to do something to make the world a better place. I wanted to be a better person myself. I had aspirations and dreams. I wanted to be a writer, an actor, a teacher, a chef, and even considered being a flight attendant. I just wanted to make the world a better place
I used to be as emotional as I am now. Come to think of it, it was probably the beginnings of my Multiple Sclerosis and nobody could diagnose it correctly. I would lose my temper easily, and was considered ‘an angry young man’. I do not know why I was so angry but I was. I had a wonderful upbringing with extended families and cousins that were (and still are) like siblings. I was still a very angry teenager. I was also sick, which ranged from anemia to hypoglycemia to getting malaria very often.
Whenever I was upset, I would run into the mosque and pray for strength. I would cry and pray for a miracle. Miracles are subjects for myths.
My parents were not wealthy and could not afford expensive schools or universities. They also spoiled me lots and loved me lots and we had great times together. I wouldn’t change anything. Ultimately, it was up to me how I turned out. Was I going to play the eternal victim and blame it on missed opportunities and what could have been? Or was I going to be a master of my own circumstance and destiny? I chose the latter. Not conscientiously but instinctively – To be the best you can, using the resources you have. That was what I believed then and that is what I believe today.
Now I have Multiple Sclerosis. How am I going to lead my life? Am I going to be a victim? Or am I going to be a master of my circumstance?
Religion has taught me “Be true to your self” and “Honor yourself”.
If ever I needed an answer to the question, “Why me?” it would be now.
Why not me?
Am I going to be a victim by even asking “Why me”? Or am I going to take the bull by the horns and be a master of my circumstance?
Well I am not a master of circumstance, as such. But, I can certainly accept things and continue doing my best, being my best and let nature and this illness take its course.
As much as I am an idealist, I like to think that I am more a realist who lives in the present world under my present conditions, whatever those conditions may be.
So why not take the bull by the horns? And if he has no horns, then grab him by the ears.
I have good news and bad news.
The bad news is that I am having a hard time with my illness and the future looks dark and bleak. I cannot help but think the worst.
The good news is that I am not a quitter. I still do my best at everything I do and I now have to set a new pace. I need to contemplate less and do more - read more and write more - live more. I have made some adjustments that are required and I will re-invent my life, if I have to. I have people that love me so much, it is quite amazing. If I were to die tomorrow, I can say I have had an amazingly fulfilling and love-filled life but I am not about to give up and die.
So it is not just taking the one bull by the horns, I have the whole bloody herd by the bloody horns………..for now.
That is the great news…………for now.
I used to be as emotional as I am now. Come to think of it, it was probably the beginnings of my Multiple Sclerosis and nobody could diagnose it correctly. I would lose my temper easily, and was considered ‘an angry young man’. I do not know why I was so angry but I was. I had a wonderful upbringing with extended families and cousins that were (and still are) like siblings. I was still a very angry teenager. I was also sick, which ranged from anemia to hypoglycemia to getting malaria very often.
Whenever I was upset, I would run into the mosque and pray for strength. I would cry and pray for a miracle. Miracles are subjects for myths.
My parents were not wealthy and could not afford expensive schools or universities. They also spoiled me lots and loved me lots and we had great times together. I wouldn’t change anything. Ultimately, it was up to me how I turned out. Was I going to play the eternal victim and blame it on missed opportunities and what could have been? Or was I going to be a master of my own circumstance and destiny? I chose the latter. Not conscientiously but instinctively – To be the best you can, using the resources you have. That was what I believed then and that is what I believe today.
Now I have Multiple Sclerosis. How am I going to lead my life? Am I going to be a victim? Or am I going to be a master of my circumstance?
Religion has taught me “Be true to your self” and “Honor yourself”.
If ever I needed an answer to the question, “Why me?” it would be now.
Why not me?
Am I going to be a victim by even asking “Why me”? Or am I going to take the bull by the horns and be a master of my circumstance?
Well I am not a master of circumstance, as such. But, I can certainly accept things and continue doing my best, being my best and let nature and this illness take its course.
As much as I am an idealist, I like to think that I am more a realist who lives in the present world under my present conditions, whatever those conditions may be.
So why not take the bull by the horns? And if he has no horns, then grab him by the ears.
I have good news and bad news.
The bad news is that I am having a hard time with my illness and the future looks dark and bleak. I cannot help but think the worst.
The good news is that I am not a quitter. I still do my best at everything I do and I now have to set a new pace. I need to contemplate less and do more - read more and write more - live more. I have made some adjustments that are required and I will re-invent my life, if I have to. I have people that love me so much, it is quite amazing. If I were to die tomorrow, I can say I have had an amazingly fulfilling and love-filled life but I am not about to give up and die.
So it is not just taking the one bull by the horns, I have the whole bloody herd by the bloody horns………..for now.
That is the great news…………for now.
MARTYRDOM, SACRIFICE & JIHAD
In the Webster's Dictionary, a 'martyr' is one who dies or suffers for principles, or sacrifices all for a cause. For centuries, there have been martyrs in the name of Religion. It is hard for me not to question, how different are we today?
Then, there seem to be a misconceptions and a misunderstandings on the real meaning of jihad. It actually means struggle.
Either the meaning of struggle is something other than mine or there are individuals who are simply misinformed, ill-educated and/or are easily influenced.
I think it is a bit of everything, and the leaders have used the misinterpretation to their advantage. Some have even condoned the change of meaning, to suit their own advantage.
I am convinced that most of the time the average person is misguided and misinformed.We know that the wars and strife that go on are very detrimental to the survival of mankind. The leaders of the world are making a big mistake whether they know it or not. But war is money and money brings power. We know from past history that all our attempts made to dissuade people from fighting and killing have been futile. India and Pakistan, Palestine and Israel, the Islamic extremists and the rest of the world, are all examples - naïve people misled to believe some figment of some demagogue’s imagination (or claims to be the word of God).
This is really not the right way to go. God has never said we should kill, injure, hate and judge (or misjudge).Not enough effort has been made to re-educate the population. All that is being done by the leaders and the media is adding fuel to the fire by feeding propaganda with more propaganda and speculation and these 'theories' turn into fact in the minds of the naïve and fuel the fights that have gone on for generations.
The ‘jihad’ or struggle should be one for love, brotherhood, peace, love, patience, tolerance and understanding. I consider the real martyrs to be those that 'sacrifice' violence to make place for brotherhood, peace, love, tolerance patience and understanding but instead we steal, loot, rape, pillage, behead and, blow up, to destroy the very essence of what has termed us human.
Whatever happened to humanity?
Then, there seem to be a misconceptions and a misunderstandings on the real meaning of jihad. It actually means struggle.
Either the meaning of struggle is something other than mine or there are individuals who are simply misinformed, ill-educated and/or are easily influenced.
I think it is a bit of everything, and the leaders have used the misinterpretation to their advantage. Some have even condoned the change of meaning, to suit their own advantage.
I am convinced that most of the time the average person is misguided and misinformed.We know that the wars and strife that go on are very detrimental to the survival of mankind. The leaders of the world are making a big mistake whether they know it or not. But war is money and money brings power. We know from past history that all our attempts made to dissuade people from fighting and killing have been futile. India and Pakistan, Palestine and Israel, the Islamic extremists and the rest of the world, are all examples - naïve people misled to believe some figment of some demagogue’s imagination (or claims to be the word of God).
This is really not the right way to go. God has never said we should kill, injure, hate and judge (or misjudge).Not enough effort has been made to re-educate the population. All that is being done by the leaders and the media is adding fuel to the fire by feeding propaganda with more propaganda and speculation and these 'theories' turn into fact in the minds of the naïve and fuel the fights that have gone on for generations.
The ‘jihad’ or struggle should be one for love, brotherhood, peace, love, patience, tolerance and understanding. I consider the real martyrs to be those that 'sacrifice' violence to make place for brotherhood, peace, love, tolerance patience and understanding but instead we steal, loot, rape, pillage, behead and, blow up, to destroy the very essence of what has termed us human.
Whatever happened to humanity?
MY UNIVERSAL DREAM
(revised)
To seek dreams without slumber
To live life without degradation
To have neither pain nor tear
To love unconditionally without expectation
To sometimes win even without a try
To look beyond the shadows and adumbration
......and seek the light
To be a martyr without having to die
To live life fully without a fight
To laugh so hard I could cry
To use words and not might
To always speak and hear the truth without fabrication
To soar the winds like a kite
To have surrender without annihilation
To always love and not spite
To have a kingdom without commission
To question without anxiety
To belong without being a possession
To have identity
Without conformity
To be able to say what I mean
And
To be able to mean what I say
Will there really be a New Day?
*****
Religion,......................................................... Love, Fear and Hatred for Organized Religion
“……………is it the promise of 'paradise' or the fear of the 'fires of hell' that govern what we do?’’
Agnostic, semi religious, religious fanatic or atheist? Monotheist or Polytheist? How about a bit of everything? Does it really matter?
I really don't know what I believe with regards to religion, but I thoroughly dislike the way the major religions divide people. I particularly resent the way they often make people obsess (sometimes violently so) about rituals, so much so, that they lose sight of the bigger picture and the aim of simply being a good person.
At one time or another, I have been all of these – agnostic, religious, fanatic and sometimes, an atheist.
It is hard to have complete blind faith while there is so much bad stuff happening around me and I end up with a lot of unanswered questions:
1) If God is not racist, then why did He create the different races and castes?
2) If He created everything that why is there so much pain in the world?
3) If God and religion are focal points of love, peace and charity than why, for example, is the
Catholic Church, one of the richest institutions in the world, not doing anything about
poverty?
A small percentage of the Vatican’s assets would be sufficient to fund and boost the economy,
infra-structure and education in Africa for decades.
4) Why are Islamic fundamentalists so bent on destroying the western civilization when more
than half of them move to set up secure lives there?
5) Why are the Hindus and Muslims in India and Pakistan at constant war after having spent
centuries together in brotherhood?
6) Why is that Religion and hypocrisy are a couple like bread and butter, salt and pepper and
Romeo and Juliet?
7) Is it the love of God or the fear of His wrath that keeps good people good?
8) Why is it that good things constantly happen to bad people and bad things to good people?
In my next book, I have talked about how humans have funny way of rationalizing this. When bad things happen to good people, they are being tested and when bad things happen to bad people, they are just getting what they deserve. When good things happen to good people, they are being rewarded and when good things happen to bad people, it is momentary and they will soon fall.
I would like to believe that someday, good things will happen but along the way I cannot help but be a realist and see things the way they actually are and it really is up to me (my choice) how I react and behave.
It is easy to praise some unknown force when things are good, and even easier to blame that same force when things are bad - and believe it or not, I consider myself to be Spiritual!
But these questions will always exist because even though Faith exists, my Faith is not blind. I may be an idealist but deep down inside I am a realist and I think that we have to come face to face with reality and that good and bad things do and will happen to both the good and bad people.
Sometimes life sucks and sometimes life can even be very unfair and painful. Our test is how we rise from any adversity and difficulty.
That is where I think organized Religion or some form of Spirituality, comes in.
Organized Religion & Spirituality (for those who do not want to be ‘religious’) breed wonderful strengths like love, compassion, humility, brotherhood and humanity.
Unless, the purpose of religion and message of God is misinterpreted to benefit the greed of power-hungry leaders, most Religions are quite advantageous and helping maintain our humanity.
Generally, Religion (more so, Spirituality) keeps me grounded and connected to community and culture. I am often angry at God. It is not possible to be angry at God and be a non-believer at the same time. So I geuss I am a believer. The humility involved in the act of prayer enables me to carry this humility to other aspects of my life with friends, family, work and life in general.
I believe, one can be spiritual and maybe not so religious; one can pray and still not be a part of organized (or dis-organized) religion.
I have asked constantly was God racist to create the different races and castes of man or has man made God to be racist because of his own insecurities?
Why does God have to be of the Hindus, Muslims, Jews or Christians? Why do I have to belong to any one of these groups?
Am I to be branded like a bull?
Every Religion I know preaches love, peace, brotherhood, tolerence and unity.
Of course, conditioning and family traditions and demographics play a large role in determining what we believe but ultimately, the choices are our own.
It is important to make the right choice for you rather than follow a crowd blindly like the gnu (wildebeest) do during their annual migration.
Conformity breeds armies, Individuality breeds human beings.
I think it is most important to follow one's heart. I do.
Agnostic, semi religious, religious fanatic or atheist? Monotheist or Polytheist? How about a bit of everything? Does it really matter?
I really don't know what I believe with regards to religion, but I thoroughly dislike the way the major religions divide people. I particularly resent the way they often make people obsess (sometimes violently so) about rituals, so much so, that they lose sight of the bigger picture and the aim of simply being a good person.
At one time or another, I have been all of these – agnostic, religious, fanatic and sometimes, an atheist.
It is hard to have complete blind faith while there is so much bad stuff happening around me and I end up with a lot of unanswered questions:
1) If God is not racist, then why did He create the different races and castes?
2) If He created everything that why is there so much pain in the world?
3) If God and religion are focal points of love, peace and charity than why, for example, is the
Catholic Church, one of the richest institutions in the world, not doing anything about
poverty?
A small percentage of the Vatican’s assets would be sufficient to fund and boost the economy,
infra-structure and education in Africa for decades.
4) Why are Islamic fundamentalists so bent on destroying the western civilization when more
than half of them move to set up secure lives there?
5) Why are the Hindus and Muslims in India and Pakistan at constant war after having spent
centuries together in brotherhood?
6) Why is that Religion and hypocrisy are a couple like bread and butter, salt and pepper and
Romeo and Juliet?
7) Is it the love of God or the fear of His wrath that keeps good people good?
8) Why is it that good things constantly happen to bad people and bad things to good people?
In my next book, I have talked about how humans have funny way of rationalizing this. When bad things happen to good people, they are being tested and when bad things happen to bad people, they are just getting what they deserve. When good things happen to good people, they are being rewarded and when good things happen to bad people, it is momentary and they will soon fall.
I would like to believe that someday, good things will happen but along the way I cannot help but be a realist and see things the way they actually are and it really is up to me (my choice) how I react and behave.
It is easy to praise some unknown force when things are good, and even easier to blame that same force when things are bad - and believe it or not, I consider myself to be Spiritual!
But these questions will always exist because even though Faith exists, my Faith is not blind. I may be an idealist but deep down inside I am a realist and I think that we have to come face to face with reality and that good and bad things do and will happen to both the good and bad people.
Sometimes life sucks and sometimes life can even be very unfair and painful. Our test is how we rise from any adversity and difficulty.
That is where I think organized Religion or some form of Spirituality, comes in.
Organized Religion & Spirituality (for those who do not want to be ‘religious’) breed wonderful strengths like love, compassion, humility, brotherhood and humanity.
Unless, the purpose of religion and message of God is misinterpreted to benefit the greed of power-hungry leaders, most Religions are quite advantageous and helping maintain our humanity.
Generally, Religion (more so, Spirituality) keeps me grounded and connected to community and culture. I am often angry at God. It is not possible to be angry at God and be a non-believer at the same time. So I geuss I am a believer. The humility involved in the act of prayer enables me to carry this humility to other aspects of my life with friends, family, work and life in general.
I believe, one can be spiritual and maybe not so religious; one can pray and still not be a part of organized (or dis-organized) religion.
I have asked constantly was God racist to create the different races and castes of man or has man made God to be racist because of his own insecurities?
Why does God have to be of the Hindus, Muslims, Jews or Christians? Why do I have to belong to any one of these groups?
Am I to be branded like a bull?
Every Religion I know preaches love, peace, brotherhood, tolerence and unity.
Of course, conditioning and family traditions and demographics play a large role in determining what we believe but ultimately, the choices are our own.
It is important to make the right choice for you rather than follow a crowd blindly like the gnu (wildebeest) do during their annual migration.
Conformity breeds armies, Individuality breeds human beings.
I think it is most important to follow one's heart. I do.
Obsession with Speed
I think today's society is obsessed with SPEED.
The need to go faster, the speed to succeed, the speed to fall in love,the speed to fall out of love and find another, and the speed to regress and be younger.
It has to be faster and bigger and better.
I guess 'size' does matter (in some cases), so we can accept 'bigger'.
'Better' cannot be bad. It means progress and improvement but we really need to slow down and smell the roses (while we still have them).
Logic, sense, sensibility and commitment are now things of the past. What a shame!
Even Governments have stooped to these levels taking shortcuts to speed things up only to have them do the whole thing again because they were not done right in the first place.
The waste of tax payers hard earned money is another thing. The Governments are too quick in throwing money away.
Here is a quote I absoloutely love:
"Proper prior planning prevents piss poor performance."
All governments and politicians must have this quote posted on their wall so that they can be reminded of its true meaning.
Feel free to agree or........disagree.
The need to go faster, the speed to succeed, the speed to fall in love,the speed to fall out of love and find another, and the speed to regress and be younger.
It has to be faster and bigger and better.
I guess 'size' does matter (in some cases), so we can accept 'bigger'.
'Better' cannot be bad. It means progress and improvement but we really need to slow down and smell the roses (while we still have them).
Logic, sense, sensibility and commitment are now things of the past. What a shame!
Even Governments have stooped to these levels taking shortcuts to speed things up only to have them do the whole thing again because they were not done right in the first place.
The waste of tax payers hard earned money is another thing. The Governments are too quick in throwing money away.
Here is a quote I absoloutely love:
"Proper prior planning prevents piss poor performance."
All governments and politicians must have this quote posted on their wall so that they can be reminded of its true meaning.
Feel free to agree or........disagree.
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